Retard Stocks

To make retarded money, pick retarded stocks

Retard Stocks is where I post the trades my brain cooks up at 2am after three Red Bulls and a Wikipedia rabbit hole that somehow connects geopolitics to penny stocks.

I have no credentials, no Bloomberg terminal, and no financial advisor — mostly because the last one stopped returning my calls. What I do have is an internet connection, a dangerous amount of confidence, and the kind of pattern recognition that makes my girlfriend say "please stop explaining nickel mining to me."

Every pick on this site is backed by real research that I then filter through the dumbest possible risk tolerance. If a hedge fund analyst and a guy who bets parlays on college baseball had a baby, and that baby had a Robinhood account — that's this website. None of this is financial advice. All of it is financial entertainment. You've been warned.

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Three Stocks to Trade American Intervention in Cuba

What to expect

The focus is not news flow or hot takes. Most notes are built around a simple question: what is the market missing, misweighing, or prematurely dismissing?

Some ideas will be longs. Some will be watchlist names. A few may be explicit shorts or special situations. The common thread is that each note tries to separate what is knowable from what is merely possible.

Disclaimer

Everything here is personal research and opinion, published for educational purposes. It is not investment advice, not a solicitation, and not a real-time statement of current positions. Markets move. Views change. Do your own work.